Sara at Berghain

After the final meeting of her business trip, 32-year-old Sara sat alone in her neat hotel room. She had finished her work, so she was free for the evening, although the long week had left her exhausted. Her heels lay beside the bed. She was flying home the next morning, but first she wanted one unplanned night out.

It was Sara’s final night in Berlin. She put away her business blouse and changed into simple black club clothes. In the mirror, she still recognised the careful professional, yet she also looked curious. Before she could change her mind, she pulled on her coat and left for Berghain.

The queue beside Berghain’s cold concrete walls was long, and metal barriers kept it in place. The clubgoers looked bored but confident, speaking in low voices as they waited. Sara noticed leather, dark clothes and faces that showed little emotion. For the first time that evening, she seriously wondered whether she belonged among the people waiting to enter the club.

Ahead of Sara, two people around her age kissed as though nobody was watching. Behind her, a man smoked a cigarette and checked his phone again and again. The wait felt very long. Her nerves grew with every step towards the entrance. Leaving felt easier, but she stayed because she wanted to see what the club was like inside.

When only a few people remained ahead of her, Sara saw the bouncer beside the heavy door. Her heart beat far too quickly. She thought of her quiet office and her early flight. Usually, she made careful choices and avoided situations where she did not know what would happen. She could still turn back. The bouncer might refuse to let her in. However, she chose to risk rejection at the door instead of leaving without trying to enter the club.

The bouncer examined Sara for several seconds without showing any emotion. At last, he gave a brief nod and silently stepped aside to let her in. Sara breathed out in relief, but she paused at the entrance. She chose to step through the heavy door only when she felt ready.

Inside, red and silver flashes of light moved over men and women dancing close together. Sara felt the bass in her chest. The dark room felt huge and briefly overwhelmed her. Even so, she still knew where she was and could decide what to do next. She felt both fear and desire as she watched the dancers.

A blonde woman around Sara’s age came out of the crowd and stopped in front of her. She stayed where she was, offered Sara an open hand and waited until their eyes met. She did not pull Sara or pressure her. Sara looked at the woman’s calm face, gave a small smile and chose to take her hand.